Something different after taking Step 1. I drove home and spoke with an old friend and felt like it really was some grand life-changing moment. It just feels strange now. 8 hours, 322 questions, over 3 months of giving up my life for an exam that is supposed to decide my life. I guess I thought I would feel an amazing sort of accomplishment. In some ways I do, but perhaps it hasn’t hit me yet. It just feels strange to be done when questions still come back to my mind and I have so much to wait.
I am back in retirement land where the slow pace sometimes makes me feel like I’m not moving forward, or backward or at all. It feels so strange after the non-stop marathon studying routine. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the well-deserved relaxation and the company of my parents. But not it’s just a waiting game for the next 8 weeks according to my test receipt.
I have lots of loose ends to tie up before I move on to start my hospital rotations. I have to go through boxes of books and notes and see what I really ought to salvage. And look through stuff that has just been sitting here for the past 2 years while my life was on hiatus in the third world.
But I can say one thing… It feels nice to not look at my first aid or note cards or to drill through questions. It was nice to stay up late and stay in bed until I finally felt like getting out of bed. It’s even nice to have a headache today as I attempt to end my coffee addiction starting today.
For now, I guess I’ll just wait and see, and hope that I made the right choices. I find out my permanent hospital placement next week, so soon after I will be Brooklyn-bound.